


Into the Long Forgotten Debris

by noodlesoup1802



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Character Development, Multi, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-11-29 22:51:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11450727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noodlesoup1802/pseuds/noodlesoup1802
Summary: Jongdae tells you everything, after the tough time has already passed.





	1. Chapter 1

Wake up to the nothingness, sleep to the nightmare. You want everything, you want something. What about everything goes downhill till all you want, even plea, drop to the lowest level of “I wanna have a reason to dress up, to wake up in the morning leaving home catching the first bus downtown”.Since having a job is a luxury for him, a slow learner who has been fired twice from the job he was in. The 24 years old Kim Jongdae is what 5 years old “Kim Jongdae” never dreamt about. Well,this kind of prove why Jongdae understand 3rd grade math when he was on 6th grade, three times failed at physic class, and took 2 days sleepless night to master statistic at uni.

“I really wanna go to work”

 like all my friends do..

Like all people my age supposed to do..”  
“Luhan hyung, chukkae! You got it!! Do the best ten times better than you did before,ne?”

“and Kyungsoo-ya, your seniors at your new office are soo nice! They must be take a good care of you very well!!”

Jongdae knows, one of the best prayer wished sincerely is when someone you pray for doesn’t know and request. A silent sincere prayer whised by Jongdae as Luhan and Kyungsoo starts his new better,higher position,more prestige job tomorrow.

"I should've been happy knowing they really having a good time working there,earning good income,most important... they can work at their best performance. I am happy for Luhan Hyung and Kyungsoo”

Even though all Jongdae feels now is throbbing. “...will I ever have that chance?...”

The last three months of 2012 were the hardest thing of Jongdae’s life. Waking up to face the terrible day and walking home crying.

Right here on this empty big world, I see that everything has changed

I'm unable to find the right words, I can only stand in silence

How do i begin again, from where should i'am starting over

In spite of my desperation i'am looking for light

Oh, If out there somewhere there really is God?

(Kaze wa Fuiteiru, AKB48 eng translate)

 

You,As Wu Yi Fan.

-That man who dressed nicely in suit really looks good, way much more looks good because it reflects his success. His successfulness goes really well along the step he takes-

Just like the ordinary day for people who live in urban city, it comes to the situation where your simple yet chic work outfit, nice shoe, latest gadget and another one or two thing/s more complete your appearance as a qualified person who really fits best to this city,and today,should be one of the luckiest day you might have because you can leave your cubicle when you still can see the sun.

Even though you were lucky you left the office earlier, you couldn't completely drop all your job off of your mind even just for a little while. Your boss just handed you the project of your dreams, along with promises of a reward if your team completes it by a fast-approaching deadline.But Him.. a stupid new person that joined your team a while ago,who really couldn't do anything. Slow learner who takes longer to understand concepts and complete tasks, and working with him is often frustrating for you and your colleagues. Thing would go a little bit better if he, as if,was a fast learner. As if. Now that guy leaves some flaw on your perfect Friday night.

 “Kim Jongdae!! Actually what kind of business process that you expert in??!!". You can't understand or nearly understand what's going on around you. About why there is a person as slow as Kim Jongdae and why you are hardly able to talk to these days.

-End Wu Yi Fan POV-

His path scatters around somewhere he doesn’t know.And he lost his way to own it back again. Just counting the hours to go back to sleep. Days constantly remind him on that certain time on and on.

“You are Fired”

“You are Slow Learner”

Five months gone, but the echoes still. The wounds still. As Kim Jongdae tries to stand back again gaining some hope into the new piece of his life. The life where all his friends proudly engaging into some major project.

Kim Jongdae, A slow learned who struggles  indeed. Those feelings of being scolded by everyone he works with are running over and over his mind. He hampered his co worker. He’s nothing but an under achiever. The fact reveals he couldn’t be in team, he couldn’t do a fast phase professional business requirement. 

-Jongdae POV-

Why did you talk about being a loser when everything you’ve got  worked perfectly riding you to the top? How could you create the future in the name of loser? You never know what loser really is... A loser who’s afraid to face the world because of the incompetency, self esteem, and something that happened in the past. You don’t know how slow I learn, you don’t know mistakes I’ve done. Let me be the loser.

There once was group of people dress nicely and act sophisticatedly in the corner of caffee, professionally talk about some kind of chart. Me, on the other side of corner, testify them secretly with a bunch of mixed feeling, and question:

 I wish I could join them,what if I join them?

 Would I be the one who didn’t contribute any idea or action?

Would they be having a hard time because I join the team?

I am stupid, I am a slow learner, I am a loser. I am on the next level of stupidity.Terrified by that view is really a stupid thing. Reality hits me to see the dark side of anything. The light goes off of me. An outshined loser.

I walk on any shop to see how nice is that suit. I afford the price, but I can’t afford to find an exact place to go with that suit. I wanna have that suit, but I am more fond to have a proper place to go to, a productive thing to be done.

End Jongdae POV

How does it feel walking home after working? Just a simple thing that He wished he had now. A way back home that gives a simple satisfication in a little corner of heart as the sign that he has worked hard today. A way back home that he could buy some decent food for his brother at home.A way back home that he could prove everyone that he’s not a perfectly imperfect man.

... but in fact, Kim Jongdae was just a fired-slow learner... A man who is fighting so hard againts his own anxiety and low self esteem.  He belongs to the darkness inside the wardrobe at his room. The best option for him to be at, simply the place where no one hears him cry. The moment where being in the corner is the most safest place to be.Neither time goes too short nor too fast as he’s blending himself into the darkness. Nevertheless, One Almighty God becomes the reason for Jongdae doesn’t cut his arm or slit his wrist. He kept this feeling on track when it comes up. Before it turns back to grey again, at this very moment.  The times that he felt secure the most...after he prays..and at the last sip of his coffee.

Sehun POV

“Sehun-ah,I’m home. Here I got some chicken mushroom and bubble tea for us. Gotta be sure that you haven’t had dinner, right?”

It has been the countless times Jongdae Hyung attended job interview, and it’s been the countless times I can’t bear my feeling by watching Jongdae Hyung hurts so much. I love Jongdae Hyung for whatever he is. And I want nothing but having Jongdae hyung happy for what has happened and the person he is.

“Jongdae Hyung, Did you know that today there is a rumor stated David de Gea will soon move to Real Madrid?”

“Aah, is that true? What about ikker Cassillas? I cant believe Rafael Benitez doesn’t trust him as the main goalkeeper anymore. He has dedicated his life for 25 years with Real Madrid.”

“You know Hyung, the fun fact is De Gea was just born when Cassillas started his training with Real Madrid Junior team. ”

I don’t wanna ask about how the interview was, I want Jongdae Hyung forget all he went through today by distracting the conversation atmosphere into the things he likes. Music, singing, football, stand-up comedy. And it worked. Jongdae Hyung shows his enthusiasm when I raised the topic about what I read a glance about the news of Europe League today.

 

-6 months later-

Jongdae never knows where he is right now. He can’t even move nor shout. A peculiar area where he sees people come around with their each other’s business.  A regular day right after office hour ends. Is he dreaming? About a man in casual look with a backpack on his back,and his tired face engulfed by happiness on the front line of Bubble Tea counter. “My dongsaeng will like it so much!!” a silent whisper pronounced cleary heard by Jongdae.

“Have a nice day, Sir”

“Thank you.. I can’t believe I can buy this for my dongsaeng with my first salary”

“wait... what? Who he actually is?”

“We’ll have a meeting at Ministry of Finance at 10”

\---**---

“Sehun-ah , wake up!! I have a meeting at Ministry of Finance at 10, and maybe tonight I’ll come home a little bit late, because I have another meeting at Ministry of Law and Human Right at 4. Don't forget to have breakfast! see yea at night!”

As Sehun watched Jongdae dissappear at the doorway, he grabbed his last night bubble tea and wentinto his deep thought about what finally came to his hyung. A perseverance and endless pray brought his hyung to catch the first train to Central Business District every morning. This is stupid, he thought. How come his hyung wasted 2 years of his life being depressed just to be a coorporate slave? How come a curated pictures about the late night meeting his peers post on SNS brought him down to the lowest point he could be? but whatever it is, Sehun feels so relieve. 

"Jongdae Hyung, You've overcome your fear. But I know the fear of being slow learner can’t fade as train goes by. I just wanna thank God for what you have now. You’ve got your dream to buy me this bubble tea on your way back home. I love you, Hyung for whatever you are." 


	2. Side Story : It was Carissa

-Jongdae POV-

“Bye Carissa”

It was Carissa. A freshgrader who’s accidentally, by professional means, sat at the front desk as she is known by all departments in this Ministry. She takes the responsibility of financial administration and serves everyone in this Ministry to approve their application, and accidentally be my partner in running this project I was designated. Sometimes the irresponsible employee yelled at her as she  disapprove their incorrect application. Sometimes she got a phone call in the middle of the night forcing her to process the administration form that due the next morning. No, I’m not falling in love with her, I just adore her profesionally.

Today ends as we had an unplanned-simple-but-nice dinner and a casual talks till elevator ride ended and did us apart.

After all it was really nice to know her.


End file.
